well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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