Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
