No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
