Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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