R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
