Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
