I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
