have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
