Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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