i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm both gender and math confused
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
