The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
