Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
