I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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