before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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