Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
