Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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