would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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