Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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