I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
