Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
