dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
