Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
