Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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