she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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