he shaved USA in his pubs
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
