Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
