sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i wish my penis had a tongue
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
