just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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