Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
