she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
