My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
