The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
