my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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