Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
