Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Still dying that you shit outside
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
