you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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