I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
