I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
