Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
