she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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