I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
