Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize