there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
