I'm lost and stupid without you.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
