why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
