using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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