On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
