If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
