real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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