My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize