Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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