Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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