Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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