i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize