I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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