so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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