So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
