Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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